Imagine this: You are having a normal day at work and you receive a message from your boss following up on a task that you didn’t know that you were supposed to do. This is not the first time your boss has done it. You feel annoyed and think that your manager is not capable of giving proper instructions.
At the same time, your boss is frustrated because they thought that you should have taken the initiative to do the task instead of having to delegate every single piece of work.
Workplace conflicts happen all the time, whether we are working in the office or at home, or which organisation we work at.
While conflict management may seem straightforward to some people, others may be afraid of confrontation. They may lack the confidence to address the issue directly, feel intimidated by the other person, or worry about negative consequences like job loss and unnecessary escalation to management teams.
In this article, we look at how professional conflicts can affect you and your career, as well as share tips on how you can address workplace conflicts amicably.
what’s the impact of conflicts at work?
Instead of talking it out, some people avoid confrontation altogether, even to the extent of strictly limiting all conversations to emails with other colleagues on copy as mediators. In some cases, employees would avoid going to the office just so they don’t need to see each other.
However, unresolved conflicts can be very harmful to your mindset and health. If left unresolved, they can manifest over time, and lead to decreased employee morale, lower job satisfaction as well as poor mental health as you face higher stress and anxiety.
This article looks at why workplace conflicts happen and how you can navigate and handle them in a smart and professional way to maintain good working relationships with your managers and colleagues.
why do workplace conflicts happen?
Workplace conflicts happen because every one of us is entitled to our opinions, ways of working and approaches towards problem solving. It is what makes us different, unique and valuable. We also have different communication styles, which we sometimes change depending on who we are speaking with. Our diversity of ideas results in better work outcomes as we consider everyone’s perspective.
However, we don’t align on their perspectives all the time, especially when we have a strong reason to do so. Here are some of the common reasons why conflicts at work happen.
1. unspoken and unaligned expectations
Like the example given at the start of this article, disagreements at work typically happen when expectations are not clearly communicated and aligned between employees.
Sometimes lack of communication happens when there is not enough time or when people make assumptions of one another’s capabilities. This may result in working overtime, extra workload and strained relationships.
2. lack of opportunities to interact
When you don’t interact with others at work, either for a project or a simple chit-chat, it can be difficult to work together as you don’t know how to work and communicate with your colleagues. Without knowing your colleague’s communication styles, you could step on the wrong foot unintentionally.
For example, if you prefer a softer communication style, you may find it hard to work with someone straightforward and may view them as being the aggressor. Some people may also dislike small talk as they feel that it’s a waste of time at the start of business meetings.
Without any opportunity to collaborate and interact with others, it can be difficult for an employee to diversify and improve their communication skills.
3. discrimination and bias
Conflicts may sometimes happen even before any conversations take place. A diverse and inclusive workforce includes people of different backgrounds, races, nationalities and more. In Malaysia, it is normal to walk through office hallways to hear people speak different languages or smell different aromas in the kitchen. This is the uniqueness of our workplace cultures, which helps us learn more about each other.
However, some people with preconceived ideas of different cultures could intentionally or unintentionally speak harshly. For everyone who is on the receiving end of these remarks, it is normal to feel unwelcome and uncomfortable enough to start distancing at work, which is a very lonely and negative experience.
There are many other reasons why workplace conflicts can happen, such as widely different personalities, blame pushing and more. At the end of the day, regardless of how they happen, it’s important to navigate these disagreements so that work can be a little more enjoyable.
best ways to overcome workplace conflicts
Despite our differences, there are strategies to overcome workplace conflicts if we want to do it. Nobody likes confrontation, however, the outcome is usually better than letting the problem manifest and making working miserable for everyone.
As uncomfortable as it might sound, the best way to overcome workplace conflicts is to nip it in the bud. This means sharing your opinion and trying to agree on a resolution before it gets worse. Here are some polite and professional ways to do it.
1. have the discussion with an open mind
Sit down with the individual, preferably in person to read their body language, for a transparent and honest discussion. Both of you should agree on some ground rules for this discussion, such as allowing one another to finish instead of interrupting or a timeout if it is necessary.
When sharing your views, you should be honest and clear to help them understand your perspective. Focus on the solution as well, as it shows that you are willing to get over your differences.
2. give each other time to share their opinions
It’s important to give the other party time to share their opinions and perspectives as well. After all, it takes two hands to clap. When they explain their experience, try to put yourself in their shoes to understand it from their perspective.
Based on your sharing, you can take time to think and align on the best way forward. For example, you can agree on taking more initiative at work and your manager has to promise to keep a close eye on your workload to make sure that you’re not taking on more than you should or can. You can also align on being more communicative, and that includes giving clear updates on what tasks you will be working on.
3. avoid using some words during the discussion
These discussions can sometimes get intense, and it’s important to keep your mind clear and calm. After all, it’s with good intentions and for a good outcome.
There are some words that you should avoid using during these discussions. These words can make the other person feel defensive, negate everything you’ve said before or invalidate each other’s feelings and worsen the situation.
- Always
- Never
- But
- Whatever
- Calm down
You should also watch your body language when trying to resolve conflicts. Actions like crossing your arms, not being able to maintain good eye contact, or yawning could send the message that you were never interested in resolving the issue at all.
should you get human resources involved in workplace conflicts?
You should get a human resources representative involved if you need an independent party to mediate the situation. However, it’s important to let the other party know why you would prefer to involve human resources so they don’t feel shocked or “attacked”.
Once the human resources team is informed of the request, they will usually talk to you separately to understand your challenges and viewpoints before mediating a group discussion. They will be able to mediate the discussion to ensure that it is aligned with company policies and organisational standards.
find a workplace environment that suits you
However, not all issues can be resolved and we understand that. It could be because of a mismatch in job fit or personality fit that may not be possible to resolve. If that’s the case, then you should be looking for a new organisation that has a workplace environment and team that suits you better.
If you are looking for a new environment, you create a Randstad account or update your CV to notify our recruitment consultants or apply for a job on our website. Our recruiters listen to your career needs and partner with employers to understand their organisational culture to match you to the right job.